Why Toxic Positivity Is Hurting Your Mental Health

 Why 'Toxic Positivity' Is harming your mental health

Friend Hey,

Could we discuss something that has been troubling me for some time? Something hiding in plain sight, wearing a positive guise but actually making us feel worse about ourselves?

It's known as toxic positivity, and it's all around.

The day I understood excellent vibes only was not so good.

I will never forget the exact moment it hit me. Dealing with anxiety, work stress, and family problems all at once, I was going through among the most difficult times of my life. I was sinking but fighting to stay atop water.

Looking at me, a kind friend said, Simply think happy ideas! Everything happens for a purpose.

Inside I felt worse even as I smiled and nodded. Far more worse.

That's when I understood that sometimes the most harmful thing you may hear is good counsel.

What Toxic Positivity Truly Seems Like

Before moving on, let's call it what it is. Toxic positivity is the compulsive drive to have a positive attitude at ALL times, even when it's very inappropriate or damaging, not only being optimistic.

This is what began to stand out everywhere:

Phrases That Made My Skin Crawl:

Everything happens for a cause.

Good vibes only!

Simply be thankful!

Others are in more serious situations.

Look on the good side!

Try not to be so pessimistic!

Decide happiness!

Post on Social Media That Cause Guilty Feelings:

Quotes about bringing forth positivity that never stop.

People pretending their existence is perfect 24/7

Shaming anybody who dares to speak truthfully of hardship

Does it ring a bell? Me too, yes.

Why this positivity is really poison.

This is what no one discusses: Forcing optimism when you're really suffering is like applying a Band-Aid over a fracture.

It cures nothing. It merely masks what has to be addressed.

It negates actual suffering.

When someone tells you to just be positive while you're grieving, depressed, or anxious, they're essentially saying: Your feelings don't count. Quit having them.

But here is the reality: Your emotions are legitimate. All of them.

Even those who are untidy. Those that are even difficult. Even the ones others feel uneasy with.

It Generates Guilt Surrounding Ordinary Human Emotions.

For years I felt guilty every time I was angry, anxious, or melancholy. Because I could not simply pick happiness, I believed something was wrong with me.

Plot twists: Negative emotions are not character flaws. These are data.

They alert us when something requires care, when limits have been broken, when we want assistance or transformation.

It keeps us from getting actual assistance.

The most hazardous aspect? Toxic positivity tells us we should be able to think our way out of real mental health issues.

Gratitude journals do not cure depression. Good vibes by themselves won't heal anxiety. Positive thinking does not cure trauma.

Therapy is sometimes necessary. Sometimes we require drugs. Professional assistance is needed sometimes. That's allright too.

Toxic Positivity versus Actual Support: the Contrast

Let me show you what real support looks like:

Rather than: Everything happens for a cause!

Try: I'm here for you; I don't understand what is going on.

Rather of: Just think positive!

Try: This seems really tough. How can I help you?

Instead of: Others have it worse!

Regardless of what others are experiencing, your difficulties are legitimate.

Rather than: Choose joy!

Attempt: Not being all right right now is all right.

Can you distinguish the difference? One disregards; the other approves. One dashes; the others stay present.

What I gathered regarding authentic positivity

Real optimism isn't about suppressing bad emotions; here's what took me very too long to grasp. It's about trusting you have the ability to overcome them.

It is not:

Acting everything is okay even when it's not.

Forcing thanks while grieving

Shaming yourself for having bad days

It IS:

Recognizing challenges while keeping hope

Seeking assistance while experiencing your emotions

Confidence in your capacity for development and healing

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

Should you need to hear this today, here it is:

You are allowed to not be okay.

You have permission to experience bad days without apologizing for them.

Without immediately attempting to solve it with upbeat thinking, you are free to feel enraged, depressed, anxious, or overcome.

You have the right to seek assistance.

You are free to take as long as necessary to heal.

Your trip for mental health doesn't need to appear Instagram-worthy.

How to Recognize Toxic Positivity (and What to Do About It)

Red flags to be on the lookout for:

Feeling bad for exhibiting bad emotions

People dismissing your concerns with favorable clichés

Pressure to resolve quickly

Told you're choosing to be depressed or anxious.

Wanting to bury your difficulties

How You Might Help:

For yourself:

When you're going through difficulties, practice self-compassion.

Let yourself experience without condemnation.

Seek professional help if required.

Surround yourself with individuals who acknowledge your experience.

Other people:

Listen without fix attempts

Before presenting any point of view, confirm their emotions.

Instead of offering unwanted advice, ask How can I help?

Rather of hurrying to make it positive, sit with discomfort.

My New Outlook on Mental Well-Being

My strategy looks different these days:

Instead of toxic positivity, I accept radically.

I understand that life may be challenging on occasion. I understand that healing is not straight. I recognize that certain days I will fight; that is the natural part of being human.

I instead give real acknowledgement instead of driven gratitude.

I can be appreciative of my support network and admit that I am having difficulties. The future makes me nervous, but I also savor the now.

Either can be concurrently true.

A letter to whoever has been wounded by toxic positivity

Dear lovely human told only to be positive,

I am viewing you. Your suffering is genuine. Your challenges count. Feeling the way you feel does not mean you are shattered.

Comparing your struggle to others is not necessary to earn your right.

Making others at ease requires neither pasting onto a grin.

You don't need to pick happiness when you're going through hell.

You need compassion from yourself as well as from others. You need time, understanding, and support.

Your emotions are messengers, not enemies. Hear them.

with love and affirmation,

someone who understands it

The Bottom Line

Toxic positivity is gaslighting disguised as support. It claims our innate, human reactions to hardship are wrong. It gives other people's comfort greater importance than our genuine experience.

But here's what I know now: Being upbeat all the time is not the aim. One aims to be human.

Being human also entails experiencing the whole range of emotions, including even the unpleasant ones.

Real healing results from our not thinking our way out of our emotions but rather tackling them with compassion, assistance, and perhaps expert guidance.

Maintaining a good attitude is worth more than your mental health.